Welcome to the New Depression

The market will zig and zag till everyone has lost interest and is broke; cease participation or face death from over trading. Wake up late, take a bong rip, and get in the bath. If you turn on CNBC, keep it on mute and listen to something less caustic like ocean waves (I prefer pornographic moans). Be sure to stretch early, as the market will be a catalyst for more muscle tearing jerks and fits. Enjoy a large and fattening lunch, they're hard to come by when times are tough. If you have a significant other, enjoy it while it lasts, or revel in the fact that it is coming to an end. Oh yeah, and one last thing... start a blog.